OK. So I am documenting this stuff in the hope that it will help maybe one other couple some time in the future who are find themselves in our position.
Next week Eilis has an appointment with Centrelink’s social worker to determine whether or not she is actually a “single mother”, or whether she needs to pursue Mr Peabody for child support.
She has to supply written evidence that the child she had was born via insemination, and not via sex. How exactly do you prove that? For people using an IVF clinic it is fairly straight forward. They supply a letter from the clinic. For people with an informal arrangement with a donor it becomes trickier.
Luckily (through sheer luck, not good planning) Eilis discussed what we were planning to do, and asked questions about how to go about it, with her GP. Her GP was able to supply her with a letter stating this. The obstetrician has also supplied a letter, but by the time you see the obstetrician the child is conceived. I think the letter says something along the lines of “Eilis never attended an appointment with a male partner … “.
So, for those trying this at home, until the laws catch up, go see someone in the medical profession and discuss your plans before you conceive. At least then there will be some recourse for providing a letter from an independent source stating your intention.
Also for those wondering why Eilis is considered a “single parent” when she is not a single parent, it is because I am not legally considered to be any part of the equation. In filling out the Family Assistance claim form, Eilis put in details about me, marked my sex as female, and the form came up with a warning stating that under section blah blah our relationship is not recognised therefore I don’t count, therefore she is considered to be single.
There are a few people about ready to say that this is fraudulent on our part, but if you attempt to supply the correct details and these details can’t be accepted due to legislation I’m unclear on how it is fraud. It is just stupidness.
There are also similar hoops and barrels you need to make it through in order to get the birth certificate issued in a way that reflects the truth.
I’m not writing this stuff because I feel sorry for myself. I’m writing it because it is so ridiculously stupid that we will be paid a higher level of family assistance, and have to go through a number of additional (and somewhat intrusive) steps, because the debate about the ethical problems of gay couples having children continues, while gay couples are actually having children so can we please focus on the reality and the discrimination the child faces.
Amidst all the legal and administrative stuff I read two quotes that made me laugh. And then bang my head against the desk.
Prime Minister John Howard in response to the HREOC report: “We certainly aren’t a government that supports discrimination”
Former Nationals leader and current Member for Gwydir John Anderson in response to the HREOC report: “I think I have to say that I think there ought to be positive discrimination in favour of traditional marriages. Beyond that in other areas I think it’s a matter of pointing out, apart from anything else, that I find it very hard to identify any rights that they don’t have.”
Dear John, please actually read the report. There are chapters on discrimination with inheritance laws, superannuation, personal leave, taxation, Centrelink benefits, adoption, access to ART, etc etc etc.
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