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21:11
John is going to a conference tomorrow and he is taking my friend, the wireless router, along with him. I will be disconnected from the whole world for several days while he is gone.
I was nearly going to say something foolish like, “I wonder who I will miss most” but we won’t go there.
21:06
Today at Toy Library I saw a notice taped to the desk about a local family who we know of (friends of John’s family) and just couldn’t believe it. Three out of four children in the one family have unique, “one-in-a-million” medical conditions, but there is no linked genetic component. They are all rare events that are entirely unlinked.
Basically at the moment they are juggling a 6 yo just diagnosed with a terminal condition; a newborn (4 weeks old) who has life-threatening issues, plus the normal 2 yo. There was also another child, about 4yo, who was born severely disabled and is not living with them. The dad is a self-employed tradesmen trying to come up with the funds for treatment for all this.
I have just never heard of a such an unusual case or so many blows within the one family. There is a small local campaign being co-ordinated through the School and Kinder to raise funds for the family. It would be nice to be able to put a link up to some central website but there isn’t one as yet. Hopefully things may gain more momentum as they go along.
It does once again re-define what is worth worrying about and what isn’t.
8:42
I’ve never really understood the appeal of the giant plasma screen taking over the room. Initially when giant TVs first came out it almost seemed like “come on over and meet the family and also I’d like to introduce you to the giant screen”.
However John hired one for a conference he is going to. After last night in the company of the plasma, the old TV looks chunky and cluttered and passe. The plasma is slim and modern and decluttered. It makes our giant pine TV cabinet look so 90s.
Anyway we are not getting one, they cost money.
We also noticed last night that we have recorded almost 200 hours of television on the HDD. I think that is mainly because we miss lots of things and don’t actually watch much TV. So if I could just get 200 straight hours of TV viewing in I would be all up to date.
15:09
It seems a lot of people are sick which is no good at all. My sister has two sick little ones, one with a burst ear-drum, and she has been up every hour overnight. Sadly I only just found out now but we are off there tomorrow to try and help out.
I wanted to put up some of parent session info from our ‘Friday Playgroup’ just in case anyone else is interested. This is some info and homework we have been doing all this week about ‘Play Time’.
parent_child_play_time
play_time
The kids have been given ‘homework’ as well as the parents. They have been talking continually about ‘feelings’ and ‘empathy’. So they were given four sheets, one with a picture of a ‘happy’ face, one ’sad’, one ‘angry’ and one ‘worried’. We have them on our kitchen table and have been making a list all week of the times when these feelings happen. In their Playgroup session they also have done many games about feelings, craft about feelings etc.
I’m really quite blown away at the impact of this. James is suddenly constantly saying things like “Mummy - I’m feeling really, really cross. Can we talk about this?” (which certainly beats just running around madly or having an outburst). Combined with the Time Out Method and the Goals of Misbehaviour info it is all starting to come together into a picture that makes sense. I am getting far more confident with knowing what on earth is going on with bad behaviour and how to handle it effectively. Very glad we are doing this group!
21:14
James has just taken a great shine to using the digital camera lately and basically I let him do this because it keeps him occupied and silent for lengthy periods. The silence is worth the cost of replacing the camera should the need arise. He is required to use the wrist strap at all times and he does this very responsibly.
Tonight after a lovely visit all day out at Grandma’s I discovered that he had taken approx. 200 photos of the dogs. He was tinkled pink that he got a photo of Bonnie ‘winking’:
Then of course there was Snip, staring balefully through the glass back door with Patch peeping over his shouder:
Then finally, a picture of the two of them in their kennel:
I don’t think I use the term ‘pampered’ lightly. The two dogs are brought to work every day so they won’t ‘be lonely’ at home. At work they have a well-kitted out kennel with an electric dog blanket for the winter.
Apart from the dogs he also took about 50 self-portraits, most of which look like giant alien balloon heads. A few did turn out to include actual people:
20:43
Just at the moment the ‘preferred’ staff who normally cover the bulk of CRT work at school happen to be off caravanning around Australia for the winter (for example). So suddenly those of us who might expect only a day or two of work here and there are getting called up for 3-4 days a week. This does leave me feeling entirely inadequate and unprofessional because I simply can’t do that many days. James is only in two x 2.5 hr Kinder sessions (with Grandma as ‘occasional’ backup babysitter outside these hours). I explained this at the time I joined the list but being short-staffed is one of those situations where it is what it is.
I had a chat with the DP about this today and he was just terrific. He said they are very keen to give me as much work as possible. They are happy to hold off till child-care is no longer an issue for us (which is essentially one more term away, if we do the Pre-Prep thing). I do feel very relieved and appreciative of their flexibility. It could all work out beautifully for next year.
16:54
We were keen to do a day-trip up to Lake Mountain this winter (as we did last year). Suddenly conditions were perfect with freezing temperatures most of last week, a fresh dump of snow and a high coming in today. So there was heaps of snow, it was very sunny and quite hot. We all got slightly sunburnt!
14:29
Today I received in the mail the very underwhelming mark of 70% for my first TAFE assignment (all about the technical side of Concrete). This is a fairly crappy score for a TAFE course but strangely I am still really happy with the actual assignment. I’m pleased with how much research I did. I’m satisfied with my first-ever attempt at ‘technical writing’. And finally I’m happy that the comments from the tutor were very specific and let me know the areas where I missed information and needed (need) to do some more work. Most of all it wasn’t just fluff, it was a very practical assignment and it is a piece of work I’d keep and refer to in the future if I manage to see this through and become qualified as a Draftsperson (hardly a very definite prospect, but having fun in the process).
13:22
My ultimate goal of getting a car I can plug into the power-point (combined with solar panels on the roof) is not a fantasy after all. I could buy one right now! Apparently someone in country VIC is transforming Hyundai Getz vehicles into electric-powered models, fully-registered in VIC and on the road now. Take that, Peak Oil!
13:17
At Playgroup today they were explaining the ‘whys’ of misbehaviour. Once the ‘why’ was worked out in various scenarios (from tantrums to eating refusal) they focused on strategies.
Apparently many or most misbehaviours can be classed as one of the following:
1. Attention
2. Power
3. Revenge
4. Display of inadequacy
Once you work out the ‘why’ behind a specific behaviour, you can tackle it (note from Playgroup under jump).
This is all from a handout:
How to Identify your child’s goal
Note down:
1. How you feel when the misbehaviour happens
2. What you do about the misbehaviour
3. How your child responds to what you do about the misbehaviour
Redirecting children’s misbehaviour
Do the unexpected!!
1. Attention - allow the child to help.
- give attention when the child is not expecting it.
- avoid always giving attention when the child is asking for it.
2. Power - give choices.
- allow child to experience consequences of misbehaviour.
3. Revenge - work to build trust and respect.
4. Inadequacy - question yourself to see if tasks are developmentally appropriate. if they are and children are just avoiding things, then focus on strengths, effort and improvement.
11:58
Originally uploaded by Fiona32
In the scheme of things having an inveterate early-riser is no big deal compared to the many trials and tribulations of life. But it is still bloody annoying to be awake at 5:30am in the dead of winter. We do have that line in the sand that 6:30am is the earliest that 4 yo’s are allowed out of the room and he is pretty good at playing with lego and trains for a fair time. While also jabbering and singing and generally keeping us fully awake.
To give John a bit of a sleep-in before a long drive today, James and I rugged up and left home at 6:00am. There was a big concrete pour going down at the Medical Centre. We’ve done a lot of work on concrete in my course so this was all good real-life experience for me. We saw the big concrete boom setting up and had a chat with Aaron, our concretor, plus the other 6 or so guys and the boom operator and the concrete truck driver. It was very cold watching the sun come up on site but quite exciting too.
16:15
I might not be actively involved in the family business anymore but vicarious involvement is pretty good. I love sitting round the kitchen table at Mum and Dad’s, hearing about this job and that job and budgets and estimates and everything that is happening. And it was lovely to go out with Dad on the job rounds yesterday and just to bask in his presence and his stories.
Yesterday we visited the new Medical Centre and Chemist they are building that’s now at Fixing Stage. It is really quite a cool building. It was also one of the 15 or so jobs where I’d worked out the Tender for the client at the start of this year. Given that our estimating system is primarily manual it is always possible to make a major, fundamental error. I was becoming increasingly unnerved as we walked around, mentally trying to remember if I’d included this feature or that feature in the pricing. Finally Dad put me out of my misery, giving me a huge grin and a look of genuine pride and saying, “We’re doing well with the budget. It’s working out really well.”
No matter how old I get I still like hearing praise from Dad. On the other hand, I am glad this is all an interest now more than a job responsibility. It is much more fun to wander around site looking at it for interest, seeing James play ‘doctors’ in his own private doctor’s surgery and not having to stress about doing the pricing.
8:14
This should have been mentioned before the post below.
Before beginning this Time Out process, the Kinder teachers introduced it by having 3 laminated A4 sheets. The first simply had a large number 1 (representing their first chance), the second had a large number 2 (representing their second chance) and the third had a picture of a chair. They told them the process then put the posters on the wall for reference.
Also: this Time Out method is not punishment after an episode. It works mainly by heading things off at the pass. I’ve been using it multiple times a day, as a routine thing if an instruction is not followed or if behaviour is beginning to escalate. Despite using it a lot, we hardly ever reach the “consequence” phase. Of course you still have to have expectations for the child that are relevant to their age, or you set the bar too high.
Some examples of things we are fixing with this that we couldn’t curb as effectively before:
* getting him to choose to sit still at the table during meals instead of rocking chairs compulsively, tapping and fidgeting
* getting him to choose quiet play before bed instead of leaping across the furniture and getting totally fired up
* choosing to stand still to be towelled off instead of leaping all over me with hugs (nearly knocking me down each night)
* choosing not to have a tantrum when play-time with me ends, or if he has to stop something he wants or if he can’t have something he wants
* choosing to speak to Daddy on the phone instead of escalating into rude, bad behaviour
* choosing to follow various direct instructions that he would normally escalate into defiance/arguments
Basically our biggest issue is both curbing over-active behaviour and also gaining compliance from the child who can argue under water. Both of these things are being very held in check with this method.
7:42
In our parenting course we have been shown a variant of “Time Out” that is proving very successful. It sounds convuluted but once you get the steps it becomes second-nature.
These are the steps and there’s a worked example under the jump:
1. Short Reason + Clear Direction
2. Acknowledge Feelings
3. Choice (1st chance)
4. Wait 2-3 minutes; ask for Decision
5. Choice (2nd chance)
6. Wait 2-3 minutes; ask for Decision
7. Consequence
This is heading off most of our issues by about Step 4.
TIME OUT EXAMPLE
Issue: James has a crisis every time John goes away for work and refuses to speak to him on the phone. If I insist, it escalates to tantrum-like behaviour. I wanted to stop this behaviour.
1. Short Reason + Clear Direction
“Daddy misses you and wants to talk to you; it’s time to talk to Daddy on the phone now.”
Speak confidently and be in control. If they do what you want immediately, praise them: “that was a smart choice: well done!”
2. Acknowledge Feelings
“I know it’s really, really hard to stop in the middle of a game. But it’s time to talk to Daddy now.”
Keep reflecting feelings for a bit if they start talking angrily etc. “Yes, I know it makes you really angry, it’s really hard to stop playing, isn’t it. But it makes Daddy very happy to hear your voice, so we need to stop playing just for a moment.”
3. Choice (1st chance)
Speak in a normal voice, be calm and in control. This is meant to sound fair and reasonable, not like an ultimatum.
“OK, here’s your choice. You can either talk to Daddy OR we will have to put the toys away. It’s your choice. You have a think about it and let me know what you decide.” WALK AWAY!
The crucial thing is that the first “choice” is the outcome you want to achieve; the second “choice” is not really a choice, it is a consequence. Often it might be going to sit in the Time Out Chair or it could be a natural consequence relevant to the situation, like losing a toy.
4. Wait 1-2 minutes; ask for Decision
Sometimes at this point they immediately see the logic and do what you want (praise them immediately for making a “smart choice”.) Other times they need TIME to get over the angry feelings and start to reason. This is something to do with the frontal lobe being flooded with adrenhaline and cortisol, which makes it impossible for them to reason. So wait a few minutes. Then ask:
“What did you decide? Will you talk to Daddy OR will you choose to lose the toy?”
5. Choice (2nd chance)
If they still haven’t complied, or don’t respond:
“OK, this is your Second Chance. This is what the choice was: you can either talk to Daddy on the phone OR you will have to lose the toy. It’s your choice. You have a think about it and let me know what you decide.” WALK AWAY!
6. Wait 1-2 minutes; ask for Decision
As above at Step 4.
7. Consequence
If the consequence is Time Out Chair, lead them there quietly. Ideally, they are allowed off the chair when they are ready to “make a smart choice” (i.e. do what you first asked). If the consequence was removal of a toy, they are allowed to have it back if they then relent and “make a smart choice” (i .e. do what you first asked).
If screaming mayhem results when you try to apply the consequence (i.e. they refuse Time Out), it is fine to tell them you will be back in 5 mins and just leave the room. It is also fine (indeed: recommended) that you apply the consequence later if they are hysterical. You can wait 30 minutes if need be, if a child is out of control. When they (and you!) are calm, apply the consequence then.
I don’t know what age you can start this method, but it works really well at this age (just over 4).
20:02
A couple of weeks ago J. and I started doing a kind of Playgroup which is basically a Kinder session for the kids but it also has a parent-session for the adults in an adjoining room.
I was quite amazed at some of the incredibly simple tricks and tips about parenting that have been coming up. For example today they were talking about Posture and Body Language around children. To illustrate, the instructor walked up to one of us, knelt down in a direct, full-front-facing position, making strong, direct eye-contact, talking very firmly and holding one arm. This is more or less exactly what Super Nanny does, and what Kath does with Kim with the ‘look at moi, look at moi’ and I’d hazard a guess that it’s a pretty common strategy used by parents, including me.
Get someone to do this to you and straight away you see how provocative and invasive this strategy is and how it can escalate conflict. It was pointed out to us that almost all Kinder teachers are trained to approach a child from the side, not the front; they kneel down close but not right in the child’s space and they often speak with lowered eyes.
I tried this all afternoon and couldn’t believe how much the tension/confrontation level dropped as a result. I suppose it would be a good strategy at school especially if I ever end up back in a school with boys. This was only one snippet out of our hour-long parent session so I think there are going to be some great things coming out of this.
15:28
(a) Sink
(b) Swim
Test Instructions:
(1) Use pencil.
(2) Changing answers on a minute-by-minute basis is fine.
(3) There are no options (c) or (d) because today is Friday.
19:17
We were just getting into Flight of the Conchords on Sunday nights when it suddenly finished.
Luckily YouTube has a bit of Conchord stuff (billed as “New Zealand Folk Comedy”)
The Humans are Dead
Bowie Song
If You’re Into It
A Kiss is not a Contract
Foux Da Fa Fa
17:13
Yesterday I had a lunch duty and it was pretty bloody cold out there on the oval. I was hunched up in my overcoat wondering how the girls were coping in their white shirts and pinafores, many of them having forgotten their jumpers on as they left the heated classrooms. Suddenly a little girl from the class I’ve been teaching ran past and flashed a big, winsome grin at me.
“Hellooo!” she squealed as she ran past, “I’m just coming back from my music lesson!”
She was carrying a very big bag so I couldn’t resist stopping her to ask what instrument she plays. She rummaged in the bag for a second before pulling out….pieces of bagpipes.
Actual bagpipes! To be fair they were a kind of modified bagpipe, suited to the size of ten year old girls, but bagpipes nonetheless.
“I can play you a bit if you want,” she said.
Despite their modified size a bagpipe is a bagpipe and is always going to be hauntingly beautiful. And perhaps even more so when you are standing outside on a windswept oval, in the cold, in winter. Listening to the bagpipes.
I think they call it ‘flow’ when time stands still just for a few seconds. All the little girls nearby paused in their games, watched with interest and then a few gave a spontaneous round of applause at the end. Then they carried on playing as normal. Back to the monkey-bars and the two cubby-houses and the pet cage with the rabbits and guinea-pigs.
It is such a beautiful school to visit and be involved in.
15:12
For some reason sleep has been extremely elusive of late, to the point that I’ve been going as close to mad as I get. So it occurred to me that maybe the adult version of something like Phenergen it might re-set the brain to sleep-mode. A quick chat with the doctor and I had some light sleeping medicine to take at night.
I suppose I can chalk this up to experience but I’m never going there again. I must be one of the small percentage of people who have the big side-effect listed as “WARNING: in some cases this medicine can stimulate, not sedate”. I basically stayed awake the entire night after I took this (a week or two ago). Then came the shakes. Then the sweats. Then the rapid-heartbeat. It was truly the most horrible sensation and I hope never to repeat it. On the plus side, it did give me some vague insight into things I didn’t have the foggiest awareness of. Since then it has been all zero-caffeine, plenty of exercise and early nights and this does seem to do the trick most of the time.
8:08
Yesterday and the day before I had the Year 4s and we were putting the “Super Spellers” words in their diaries for homework. There was cacophonous and hirsuit and various other words that are too hard for me to pronounce let alone recall.
Then we got to diaphanous. Do you think for love or money I knew what diaphanous meant. The Year 4s being the enthusiastic little sweethearts that they are had pulled out their dictionaries to enlighten me before I could even say cacophonous. As a result I now know that diaphanous is not a dinosaur.
16:56
It really made quite a lot of plain common sense to hear about Kathy Walker’s Australian Developmental Curriculum initiative today at the Education Show. The basic gist is to have a primary years curriculum that builds upon the Kinder idea of play-based learning, but blending it with explicit instruction (literacy and numeracy). It’s very open-ended and child-centred. It is compatible with VELS and being used by various pilot schools in normal mainstream, department schools. There is quite a lot of lobbying to have it more widely known and promoted. Apparently there are talks underway about rolling it out at department level in ACT schools.
The schools that have already adopted it have their Prep classrooms set up like a Kinder room, with various zones like Construction, Dramatic Play, Collage, Reading Centre, Writing Centre etc. The day begins with “Investigations” in these zones up to recess, followed by “Explicit Instruction” after recess. It sounds a little bit Reggio-Emilio meets regular schooling. There’s a heavy focus on all the social/emotional competencies, and buzz words like ‘resilience’ and so on. It also sounds like a perfect transition programme from Kinder into Prep and primary school. I emailed them to find out if there’s any schools around this side of town who are using this approach. It would be half our luck if we could find one…
15:54
It has been a bit of a heave getting back into this CRT (casual relief teaching) thing, but so far it is going quite well. I had Year 1 yesterday and have a day with Year 4 coming up in a week or so. In an ideal world I don’t want to do too much teaching but I do like the idea of staying registered. Retaining registration means the minimum of 10 days teaching per year and relevant Professional Development. It would certainly be ideal to do a smattering of days each term, especially when it involves work is such a school that has all kinds of exciting ideas in flow at any one time.
Thanks to a friend on Twitter I found out about The Education Show on today and tomorrow at Caufield Racecourse. Apparently it is free to attend so I’m going to make an attempt to do the VIT session on CRT as well as Kathy Walker’s session on preschool education.
20:24
We’ve been feeding a group of about 8 Magpies out on the deck every once in a while. This is as close as it comes to pet life in our house and we are constantly warbling at the Magpies while we are out in the garden, watching them and calling them over. I’m sure they’re being fed elsewhere as they are all semi-tame.
This Magpie got way too cheeky this morning. He flew in the open door and set himself up under the kitchen table, picking at remnant rice-bubbles left over from breakfast. I thought if we approached he’d smash himself to smithereens on the windows trying to escape, but he was too cool for school. He flapped up onto the couch, perched there watching us very happily, then did two very calm, low flaps to get back outside the way he came in.
Is it time to finally mop the floor when you have birdlife visiting?
